GET THE F*CK OFF MY LOGO BITCHES
8-12-06 POST RATED: Cojo, CW Network, Veronica Mars, UPN, WB, According to Jim, The War At Home, The Megan Mullally Show, CBS, Warner, Rick Moranis, 3D
It seems every sitcom or network these days feels compelled to blow their logo up to mammoth proportions and stick their grubby little actors all over them. Are they trying to give us the illusion that on their off days the casts of ACCORDING TO JIM, THE WAR AT HOME or THE MEGAN MULLALLY SHOW like to lounge out in the curves and serifs of massive three dimensional typographical renderings of their show's respective trademarks, or parent companies corporate emblems.
The most recent I've seen has been with the new network CW, (who's logo SEEN HERE I bastardized for the above graphic) is the end result of a merging of the UPN and the WB Networks. CW is short for the two parent companies of the now dissolved networks. The "C" stands for CBS, the "W" is for Warner .
My problem isn't with the merger, or the logo design, or Veronica Mars. It's with the fact that every network (CW included) and every half assed sitcom is dimensionalizing it's logos and transforming them into Ewok play sets for the show's cast members to frolic, relax, and bounce on.
LOOK AT THE CW LOGO! What the hell is the deal with little cast members chilling out in and around this massive font? Are they trying to trick us into believing the network shelled out hundreds of thousands of dollars to construct a massive CW logo in a room of Astroturf that would only be used in a split second 30 degree spin sequence in a commercial for CW's launch WATCH THE ANIMATION ON THE CW'S HOME PAGE
"I hear the chaise lounge apertures in the CW logo are lovely this time of year."
Elements of massive type with small people have been used in design for centuries. All images until recently have been static images used for the representative purpose of conveying enormity, power, and presence through scale (see above graphic). Humans are naturally amazed by things that are larger than us.
But now networks are animating five story computer generated logos and have little cast members of the various UPN shows sliding down the sides of the them, using them as shade in oddly computer generated green fields, treating them like overgrown swing sets or massive legos ala "Insert Shitty Rick Moranis Flick here".
Networks use this annoying psychological advertising ploy to imbue their crap properties an unjust sense of super-importance and power.
Whenever a show does this it reads to me as fake. Like they are trying to pull one over on us. Trying to bullshit enormity. Like an adult advertiser trying to bullshit kids as to what's cool. Whenever an advertisement has to use the word "cool" to try to sell a product to a kid, the product most definitely isn't cool, and the kids see through that shit, just as I see through these massive logos.
I think it's proportionate. The bigger a network blows up a show's logo in 3d and has them dancing around it like a rabid monkey with his balls in a vice, the shittier the property probably is, and the more bullshit hype it needs. Polishing a turd, as it were.
There comes a point though, getting serious for a second, where what used to be used to display importance, the shouting "IT'S WAR" in 220 pt. font on the cover of The Daily News turns into just another giant faced graphic warped and put in a 3d computerized perspective. Another cool special effect in the "because we have the technology" era. Motion graphics because we can.
Don't let them fuck you, good advertising works because you enjoy it, and you don't even realize they are the ones telling you to enjoy it.
-Cojo
