COJO MEETS DOUG STANHOPE AND RICH VOS
9-8-06 POST RATED: Cojo, O & A, Doug Stanhope, Rich Vos, Bonnie McFarlane
Note to all comics considering playing small venues in Philly. . .namely The Khyber. . . DON'T!. . . trust me. Philadelphians are not so brotherly loving, as you'd imagine. They are brutal.
I've never been to a comedy show where the crowd was so vicious with the heckling. I had bought my ticket months in advance for Doug Stanhope (THE MAN SHOW, GIRLS GONE WILD). He's a very liberal, un-pc comic who calls up O & A tripping on shrooms.
He commented about my artwork on my myspace page (see above) and I wanted to see him in person and chill with him.
The bar / club The Khyber resembled a concrete basement that was divided in two by a wall. The left side of the wall was a bar. The right side was covered in spray paint and club flyers with a little stage and pit. There was no AC and the place was packed shoulder to shoulder, sweat caked, smoke filled, and standing room only. There was minimal ventilation in this joint and the 90 percent male crowd (THE MAN SHOW fans no doubt) were exuding swamp ass to no end. It took an extra half-hour for the show to start so everyone was getting pretty loaded (knowing that no matter how drunk we got we'd be playing catch-up to Doug.)
We were hot, our backs were hurting, and we were crunched for space. A no-name MC went to the stage and after five minutes of miming the sound dude that the mic wasn't working he finally got the volume turned on and decided to try to deliver a few weak jokes until the big frat fucks behind me booed and heckled him off the stage:
"GET THE FUCK OFF THE STAGE, YOU SUCK!! BRING ON DOUG!"
You want to know what this crowd didn't want? Openers.
Next some gray haired comic came on. He came close to getting some laughs starting with some material about "retards" which went over well with the audience, but then he strayed onto other material, which prompted the hecklers to go nuts. They ended up fucking up his closer. The comic walked off the stage defeated saying he'd never return to Philly.
The MC got back on the stage and called Lynn Shawcroft to the stage. Lynn is late comic Mitch Hedberg's wife (who used to be Mitch's opening act), but she doesn't announce this, all the audience could see was "Female comic."
"Oh. . . this isn't gonna be pretty. They're gonna eat her alive." I said to the random stranger to my left.
Lynn knew that the crowd was out for blood so she plowed through her act as quickly and painlessly as possible. I was glad I wasn't in her shoes.
Finally Doug came to the stage. The crowd was restless, but over and over Doug diffused the hecklers and killed. In this little shithole Doug knew how to play to the audience of drunken reprobates. I got a shot with him (see above). If you haven't seen his show live, he's a true rock star of comedy. Check him out before he becomes the next martyr for your entertainment dollar.
Having lots of work to do and not caring about the no name band that followed the comedy I ducked out. Sitting on a newspaper box half a block away was comedian Rich Vos (Last Comic Standing).
Rich knew me through my Maxim work and had commented on my myspace a while back. Two comedians who know my work before they knew me. Cool deal. I ended up shooting the shit with Rich for about an hour while his hilarious comedian wife Bonnie McFarlane hung out with Lynn and Doug back in The Khyber.
Having just been in O & A's studio the day before I was wearing one of the Virus shirts they hooked me up with. Vos, for all of you who don't know is a regular comic on O & A. He MC's the O & A TRAVELING VIRUS (BUY TICKETS) and if you haven't seen one of his Starbucks Comedy tour you can check 'em out on youtube.com.
Over the course of us talking at least five homeless people came by asking us directions or for change. One homeless dude wanted to shake Rich's hand. "No, thanks I don't want your hepatitis." Rich said.
This is shit you hear on radio and it's funny in a cringe way, but to see it in person without mics, yikes!
Rich is a fan of my work and is currently on the waiting list for a commissioned PORTRAIT. Thanks Rich!
Support the comedians who support my work. Check em out on tour:
DOUG STANHOPE--www.myspace.com/dougstanhope
RICH VOS--www.myspace.com/richvos
BONNIE McFARLANE--www.myspace.com/bonniemcfarlane
LYNN SHAWCROFT--www.myspace.com/lynnshawcroft
